The day my daddy died – part 3

today’s post is the end of Mom’s account of her father’s death.

With the dawn of a new day, people began coming to the house with food and to express their condolences – some immediate family members and others from our church family, First Baptist Church, Brownfield. We had purchased Daddy a suit for Christmas; it was under one of the beds in the house. That is what he wore in the casket. We didn’t get to see Daddy; he was burned too badly to have an open casket. One of our uncles, Daddy’s brother, Carl, actually identified the body and stated later that he wished he hadn’t done that. I believe his body was found in a field some distance away from the blast site. His watch was returned to our family and it had stopped at 11:53 pm. We also received his billfold. It had some cards in it that showed signs of burn. Even with all we knew, it was hard to believe he was dead. I remember very vividly going to the funeral home to pick out the casket. My sisters and I were accompanied by close family members. The room was a sea of caskets – some open and some closed – a very somber place and a bit scary. Neva said she thought for sure Daddy was in one of them, but of course he wasn’t.

Because of the way he died and us not being able to see him, my sister and I have shared about having dreams for years about Daddy coming back – that he was taken to another hospital and lost his memory – eventually got his memory back and came home. Some dreams have been of seeing him walking down a city street. Of course, those were just dreams.

Mother had a very difficult time with Daddy’s death. She wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t communicate, and cried a lot. Because of Mother’s state of mind, she didn’t accompany us to the funeral home to pick out the casket and I remember her fainting at the funeral as she was walking down the aisle of the church – it was Christmas Eve at 4:00 p.m. at First Baptist Church. Neva remembers sitting in the front of the church at the funeral feeling all alone – her best friend was gone. She had a very close relationship with our dad. She was the baby and often went to the office with him and rode on routes with him when he would deliver butane to area home and businesses.

It seems that any other time except Christmas would have been better to go through this trauma and lose a loved one but in some ways, it’s a very special time because we always remember when it happened and remember a special man, our Daddy. He was a quiet man, seemed large in stature to a 16 year old; 5′ 9″ tall and weighed 175, very young (only 40 years old) didn’t get angry very easily, very easy going and very dependable. He enjoyed playing 42, a Texas domino game. We enjoyed spending time with family. Boots and Neva Bass (mother’s sister) and their family lived very close to Brownfield. We traveled quite a bit as a family, going back and forth to Anson to visit mother’s sister, Aunt Mary Lee and family. We also traveled to Odessa quite a bit to see Aunt Lavelle Hamilton and Aunt Gladys Reynolds, Daddy’s sisters. We traveled to California from Texas to see our Aunt Elsie and family (Mother’s sister). Our car didn’t have air conditioning but we had an apparatus that hung on the window that you put ice in. It provided some relief from the heat. The wind from the outside passed through the device and brought cool air into the car – must have been summer.

It was many years before my Mother could face the reality of this tragedy. She was forced to attend beauty school and raise two daughters without having a husband and father to help. She lived to be 89 years old, spending 48 years without the love of her life. Because of the trauma that we faced that awful night in 1958, much of my childhood memories and Neva’s memories are gone but we shall never, ever forget the night that changed our lives and the lives of many residents of Brownfield, Texas.